How to Tell Your Friends About How You Almost Died During a College Visit

Texting, email, and messaging have turned paragraphs of information into digestible bursts of consciousness. 

Here is something I recently wrote to a friend. 

Yeah. I sat on top of this building. At night. In the rain.

Hey

have I told you my story of what I did last weekend

so I sort of mentioned earlier how I jumped off a building

which is a technically a lie

because I jumped off a DECK not a building

right because decks are not buildings, they are just connected to buildings

so there is this house that has this 3 stories high fire pole in their backyard

because why not

and well instead of taking the stairs 

cool people take the fire pole

and I was like yay

but

friction on my hands made it really hard to actually SLIDE down the firepole

so I was like this is not going to work

so I was like I'll just let go a little

well I lied, because I let go A LOT 

but I survived

also I walked on top of a domed building at 2 am

but don't worry

because the dome was built so that the slope on the outer part was steeper than the inside part of the circle

and I didn't really walk, I sort of butt-climbed

Because butt climbing = less chance of falling off

well yeah so 

tl;dr fear of heights got nothing on me